Amateur Drag Night

“If you did drag, what would your drag name be?”

This question has bridged millennia, perplexing philosophers and moderately high partygoers alike. Like the great Romeo Montague once said,

“What's in a name? That which we call a rose / By any other name would smell as sweet.”

Even Shakespeare understood this. He had his characters debate the weightiness of a good name; a great name gives life and personality to its owner; a middling name only gives us something to call them by. Also, in Romeo+Juliet, Mercutio is a drag queen, so that slaps.

This week’s puzzle is a guest feature by friend of YEGwords, Chris Parsonage! Chris, whose drag persona has been described as "the unholy lovechild of Ginger Spice and Miss Piggy," is back again to show us that he is maybe a little too qualified to help name your drag persona.

Discussion (and spoilers!) below the break.

Play

Amateur Drag Night by Chris Parsonage

Discussion

I love this puzzle! Chris graciously spent a lot of time completely remaking the grid after we decided the first iteration was good in concept, but could hit harder. Well, he knocked it out of the park with the rewrite, and now we get to enjoy the fruits of his labour. This ranks among my favourite YEGwords puzzles to date.

We get mention of Cher, Madonna, and Rhianna today, so let’s take a moment to appreciate a Madonna song that came out… (checks notes)… yesterday?? She’s still got it!

Today’s Theme

Today, Chris’ puzzle features five italicized clues, all INTROS for performers in an Amateur Drag Night. Each is a great punny name hinted at by the clue.

"This drag king may put up a wall between you, but he doesn't mean to hurt your feelings! Here's Noah FENCE!" (No offense)

Does this drag queen have any wool? Yes sir, yes sir, here's Barbara BLACK SHEEP!" (Baa baa black sheep)

"This drag queen made a deal with the devil to get here! From South Korea, it's Selma SEOUL!" (Seoul, South Korea)

"Sweet, creamy, and freshly torched - put your hands together for your non-binary drag artist, Them BRÛLÉE!" (Crème brûlée)

"Don't let her allergies fool you, this drag queen is truly the best! Introducing, Bea SNEEZE!" (Bee’s knees)

Behind the Clues

13A. In what might be the most relatable clue of all time, Chris shares a personal truth most of us are too scared to admit. [What some veggies in the fridge are left to do (in spite of my best efforts)] is ROT, and while I fight the good fight of food waste prevention, cucumbers can be fickle, slimy beasts sometimes.

30A. Both claims that [The smallest bovine species (look 'em up, they're cute)] make are factual. The ANOA is the smallest bovine species, and they are cute. This is one of the few clues you should actually fact-check, and not just assume it’s right because a crossword said it.

42A. Here’s an interesting fact about [Total clowns], or BOZOS, I learned while editing this puzzle. While I had always assumed “Bozo” was just a generic clown name, it became synonymous with clowns because of perhaps the most famous clown ever, Bozo the Clown, who looks absolutely terrifying. I’m sorry I’m showing you this. This is from his actual Wikipedia page.

5D. We love a Monty Python reference, and while I’m more of a Holy Grail kind of guy, Chris referenced a classic sketch with ["My hovercraft is full of ___" (line from Monty Python's Dirty Hungarian Phrasebook)]. It’s EELS, from this very Monty Python sketch.

9D. The answer to [Patronized, as a restaurant] is written as ATEAT, which you might naturally parse as AT EAT, leading you to say “WTF.” However, in a simple move of the E produces ATE AT, which makes more sense. I love discovering funny little language quirks.

39D. [Three letters that get you baked] is THC, as opposed to CBD, and whenever someone uses more than two 3-letter acronyms in the same sentence, I immediately start parodying them in my head. It always reminds me of one of my favourite sketches of all time. Watching it again, it’s a shame it’s at the bottom of the newsletter. I’ll have to find an excuse to post it at the top in the future.

I hope you enjoyed this puzzle!

Until next week,

Brandon

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