Read 'Em And Weep, Boys

Chances are, you’ve seen a painting of dogs playing poker. In a recent Wikipedia rabbit hole, I discovered that the origin of the oft-copied format came from a collection of 18 paintings from the late 1800s / early 1900s by Cassius Marcellus Coolidge. 16 of them were commissioned to sell cigars (classic early 1900s) but the original, shown below, was entirely of Coolidge’s making.

I love art that shows so much but leaves so much up to the imagination. Who are these dogs? Are there humans in this world? After this game, do they trot back to their own dog apartments to their dog wife and dog kids, sink into a dog-sized armchair with a glass of dog whisky, and wonder how they’re going to make dog rent next month? The dog bank will never give them a dog loan after they couldn’t repay the last one. Are dog treats their money?

This week’s crossword is a piece of art that will make you ask less questions. But it will ask you for a lot of answers - 44, to be exact. Have fun!

Discussion (and spoilers!) below the break.

Play

Read 'Em And Weep, Boys by Brandon Cathcart

Discussion

One of the cardinal rules of crossword construction is “No Bummers,” i.e. clues should not make people feel sad/angry etc. When I realized the phrase “read ‘em and weep” could be interpreted differently, it was a fine line - I was playing with a theme that inherently involved crying, so coming up with theme answers and clues that didn’t feel like bummers took some creative thinking.

Speaking of things that blur the line between comedy and tragedy, here’s one of my favourite songs from Bo Burnham (25-Across)’s Inside. It gives me chills every time I listen to it.

Today’s Theme

This week, the revealer is in the title - the phrase “Read ‘Em And Weep, Boys” is associated with poker and gambling. However, today we chose to interpret it as “read these things and you will cry,” so what are some things that would make one cry when reading it? The italicized clues (13-, 22-, and 35-Across) give you three things that fit - BREAKUP TEXT, SAD BOOK, and WEDDING VOWS.

Behind the Clues

5A. [Sale that starts after the end?] is a favourite from this one. Though I’ve never been to one, an ESTATE sale is something that starts after the end (of a person’s life).

18A. If this generation is the iPad generation, I’m coining myself as part of the iPod generation. Getting to watch iPods go through their endless transformations was fascinating and they started big, then shrunk, then grew again, then shrunk again… Make up your mind, people! The [iPod that had seven (!!) generations] was the iPod NANO, and yes, I did own the first-gen one.

38A. Man, this crossword was fun but it’s definitely not a non-bummer, especially after including Bo Burnham’s Inside and sales involving death… So I’m taking a moment to include a bright spot here. ["Looking For Somebody (TO LOVE)," a funky song by The 1975], is the fun musical break that always gets me back into a good mood!

4D. One of the joys I get from crosswords is bringing memes off the internet and into real life (for those that solve the printed/PDF version of the puzzle). ["I just think they're ___" - Marge Simpson, holding a potato] is NEAT, and what a Marge thing to say.

7D. Here’s another fun question mark clue. [Permanent art installation?] evokes an art gallery or mural upon first read, but there’s another permanent art installation we’re talking about here… a TATTOO! Whenever a question mark appears in a clue, you’ve got to roll your eyes and say “alright constructor, what dumb lateral wordplay did you cook up this time.” I almost always skip question mark clues until I have a few letters in, and I suggest most solvers do the same.

19D. This clue was a good reminder I still haven’t watched this movie (though I’ve heard it’s actually good). [Vampire-hunting prez, according to a 2012 film] is ABE, as in Abraham Lincoln, and though I truly try to stay away from overtly American things here (there’s enough American crosswords in the world), getting to reference this movie was too tempting!

I hope you enjoyed this puzzle!

Until next Friday,

Brandon